Sharing Interests

I read a really touching story this week about a woman who went on a fishing trip with her husband to Alaska. This was not a dream of hers or something she was particularly excited to do, but her husband had wanted to do it for a long time. So they went, and the experience made them stronger. It was a story that stuck we me because my husband is really wonderful at taking the time be interested in my hobbies, music, tv shows etc. but it doesn't always go both ways. He loves to dirt bike, and it doesn't appeal to me at all, so I rarely take an interest in it. When reading this story, I thought about how happy my husband would be if I took more of an interest.

In "The Seven Principles of a Happy Marriage" Dr Gottman states "Conversational patterns of interest and respect, even about mundane topics are crucial to happiness. Couples who turn toward successfully maintain a 20:1 ratio of expressing interest or acknowledgement vs. ignoring conversational gambits. This is referred to as the emotional bank account. Couples who are highly successful keep a 5:1 ratio in conflict discussions, even Turning Towards while arguing."  This is a crucial part of a successful, happy marriage.

Martha Arnell shared this in her story about her husband's experience in Alaska: "When I awoke in the tent the next morning I felt strange with large swollen ears and eyes. I luckily had brought some over-the-counter allergy medicine, which helped somewhat with the swelling. But the greatest help was the blessing I asked for from my husband that morning outside our tent. He enjoyed his trip greatly, a life-time experience. I didn't complain and survived my bitten face."

References:
Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (2018). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. London: Cassell Illustrated.
"Fishing in Alaska" Martha Arnell